Was he real? Or was I just dreaming?

Not Richard Hamster

50% of Nothing is noted as being the explosive force behind the “Big Bang”, an action that most scientists, atheists, and LSD abusers believe created the universe.
Richard Hamster, the group's frontman, was born to The Virgin Mary on the sun, and hitched across the galaxy on rouge comets. Richard Hamster came down to Earth by the power of the Holy Spirit, riding the meteorite that allegedly killed the dinosaurs. (This mass murder has not yet been proven in a court of law).
Upon arriving to Earth and witnessing the chaos that his death-rock had brought upon the planet, Richard Hamster decided to try and bring peace to mankind by performing sad songs to crowds of drunks alongside several musically innept mortals. They would go on to become 50% of Nothing.
Richard also holds a Guinness World Record for the most bananas balanced on his chin with 469. It should also be noted that Richard is the 2nd coming of Jesus, since no other man could possibly have eaten enough fiber to do so.
Richard also speaks flueant Chinese and can quote any Bruce Lee movie on command. Richard can fly as well and has been known to lift cars with his face and has even written the theme songs to every single 70's TV-show including Sanford and Son as well as other hit TV theme songs such as 'Eat it' by Weird Al.

Though often mistaken as one, Richard is not a hamster.

Also Not Richard Hamster

Richard took interest in world domination from an early age. Hoping to further his plans, he started to play guitar at age 8 when he discovered the ability to make 14 year old guitar noobs worship and masturbate to him nightly around the world. His father locked him in his basement for fear of Richard destroying the galaxy. Here, Richard spent five years practicing guitar using a bit of wood he found and surviving on small mammals. When his supply of small mammals ran out, he was forced to eat his bit of wood which is thought to contribute to his desire to shred so fast people's bodies explode. Richard soon learned that if this failed to occur, a guitar can also serve as a useful projectile, with the same result of pain.

“Eat your fucking cornflakes”

“They're giving ratings to Wedding ceremonies as well now?
How is this deteremined?
Should I put on events?
Should I breath fire like a dragon? or spit at the audience?”

”breast implanation. Happens to me all the time.”

“5 minutes, with a sandwich break in the middle. Damn.. it was a good sandwich.”

“I have this birthmark since I was born. I looked it up in the dictionary. It's not in there.”

“Nothing says “I love you” more than 10,000 cash.”

“I celebrated the New Year with eating fireworks. It made me very happy.”

“An annual interest payment of 0 US$ has been added to my bank account in The Bank of England. I'm going to Disneyland!”

“32 hours have passed since the show. Still waiting for my groupie.”

“My haiku was stolen from me! Enjoy wiping your ass with it, mate, since it's not good for anything else anymore.”

“I feel like the forces above me have forsaken me (untill Friday).”

“Planning ahead makes my little brain hurt.”

“I've just released my boost. I just hope I did the right thing. I miss my boost … “

“Screw mood!”

“Melvin Cola tastes like distilled water with artificial sweeteners and anthrax.”

As well as playing the Guitar, Richard Hamster is highly adept at playing the Flying Trout which he plugs into a 50,000 watt Suitcase as Suitable (har har) amplification Devicings.

His main guitar is the Ernie Ball Wang-caster (The only known guitar that is able to go into World Domination mode), because you know what they say about a man with a Wang-caster… He eats a lot of cheese!

His old main guitar is an Ibanez JPM made by Mr. Ibanez. The guitar was painted by Michelangelo (Not that guitar n00b but the guy that painted jesus on the ceiling) and has pickups hand-wired by Tony Blair.

He switched to Ernie Ball when he found his Ibanez's strings had all melted and lost the ability to kill people sporadically. He switched to Ernie Ball and immediately played so fast that Mr Ibanez exploded and Tony Blair became a hermaphrodite.

His other main guitar is the necessatator, which has 78 strings. He is able to play this due to the extra three fingers on his left hand.

He also plays the Exaggerator, which is a Japanese condom, which he usually puts over his head and runs into small children and angry monkeys with.

Richard Hamster owns a very large guitar rig, one of the biggest among Reggae guitar players. It's said that with it he can control the revolutions of the earth, temperature of the sun and the number of deaths world wide. His unique “pedalboard of death” triggers mines placed in the audience, killer bees from the footrests, and signals Jonathan Hawkes to drop down from the roof with 4 guitars and slice people's faces open. Over 20,000 people are rumoured to die in 50% of Nothing's shows, what he describes as “A truly amazing sight to behold.” This claim is unsubstanitiated as no one has ever come out with their sanity intact after witnessing his brain melting solos. His guitar tech, Des Swink, who he found rotting in a ditch somewhere, also designed a preset book for him which also includes recipes for gourmet Swedish pizzas, cheesecakes and deep-fried pancakes.

His rack, built by Mr. Rackman, consists of several custom made units which no one else can afford, plus a custom tweaked Mesa/Boogie Mark IVC+ on top. All of this ends up in a couple of Mesa 4×12” Cabinets with Celestion V40's speakers in them.

• Richard Hamster's Character Page—-