Frida Kok
Frida Kok was the spawn of Ileana Kok and Connie Perkins.
Personal History
Frida was the second creature to crawl out of Ileana Kok's womb and the fifth product of Connie Perkins' fecund loins. Frida was the sibling of the also deceased Kandy Kok. It lived in dumpsters and fed itself by tangling insects and rodents in its unibrow and absorbing them through its forehead.
When Frida was about a year old, it was attacked and brutally mauled by Mayor Perkins. He ate both of Frida's legs and one arm before dying of food poisoning. Frida's mother's comments on the attack: “I wish he'd eaten her face instead. It's more crippling than a couple missing limbs.”
Two days after her first birthday, Frida mistook a baggie of voodoo powder for cocaine and snorted it. It floated towards a bright light and heard angels sing. Frida saw its grandmother, who was smiling – until she saw Frida's hideous face and fainted. Frida experienced great pain (just like its mommy would have wanted) before it finally died and went to hell. Satan probably locked it in a closet; making ANYONE, even the damned, look at that disgusting excuse for a face is too cruel even for him.
Frida's mother had this to say: “Shit, it took my good voodoo powder! Stupid bitch/bastard/other.”
What remained of its body was promptly flushed down the toilet to be consumed by sewer-dwelling alligators. The only thing remotely resembling a memorial service was when Pandora Hellewell sang a song for Frida:
Joy to the world,
Frida is dead!
We barbequed its head (no, seriously)!
What happened to the body?
We flushed it down the potty!
And round and round it goes!
And round and round it goes!
And rooound and rooooound
And round it goes!
Career
Frida worked as a drug mule for The Rev. Ileana Kok's Church of Holy Kok Worship until it died.
