Tortilla Bonita
Genre: Flamenco crossed over with Heavy Metal, Punk and Modern Rock
ArtistID: 45315
Starting Date: 2006-06-26
End Date: 2007-09-21
Members: Steven Marvin (Banjo/Accordion), Eva Lundhskär (Lead Singer/Bass), Vicki Baker (Piano/Bag Pipe)
History
”You never know where the journey goes before you go on the road. Once on it, the journey never ends.”
Such wise words were never spoken when Tortilla Bonita (TB) was first formed after their tentative meetings. In fact, rumours have it there never was a meeting at all. Some say the idea was spurred when Vicki Baker (from here on referred to as Giggly LaBamba) was having yet another encounter with her arch enemy Steven Marvin (currently known as Jesusa Taco). To really upset Jesusa, Giggly played flamenco music in 3/4 beat on her bagpipes. Jesusa was not insulted, but rather impressed with the peculiar atmosphere it created. The rest is history. 
Or was it the future to be?
Jesusa convinced her girlfriend, Eva Lundhskär (Xuxa Tacita), to come along for the ride by pinning her down and tickling her skinny ribs while drooling out of tune in Spanish. Roses, petals, the whole fireworks.
(The horny rabbit duo soon realized that skinny-on-skinny was a brutal mistake and decided to put on some weight while tending to their bruised ribcages.)
The trio got together for jams. It was terribly awkward at first: now without a release for their hate, spiteful comments and overall existential rage, Jesusa and Giggly got confused. Not many words were uttered in the first band practices - in fact, no words were spoken for a full year. The silence became a driving force for the band. They took the lack of verbal communication on stage and directed their frustrations towards their music, which lead to vibrant genre-defying flamenco music with underlying enmity between some of the band members found within their songs.
The tales and names revolving around TB are numerous. There's a rumor about the band's name as well. Especially in Hispanic countries, where elderly women claim the idea revealed itself to Xuxa Tacita on a used sheet of toilet paper, right below a skewed image of Madonna. However, most people seem to think it comes from Xuxa misreading the The Official IRS Tax Guide to Auditing Horse Activities while heavily influenced by mushrooms.
Time went on and the feats of the band only grew in size. The band currently takes great pride in showing up for their concerts (generally), enjoying a record low attendance of 0 people, registering their worst gig as decent and occasionally participating in competitions in some of which they've even managed to place!
However, Giggly, Xuxa and Jesusa are known to take the most pride in entertaining their fans by wobbling their flabby behinds, praising the Lard and shouting aiaiAI! And with their trademark mixture of flamenco influenced mayhem.
Praise the Lard! aiaiAI!
The End of Tortilla Bonita
TB announced their end during the closing party of their final tour in Xuxa's apartment in Barcelona. They disbanded on 31.45, it was just time to move on and try new things. Jesusa Taco now plays in Into the Sunset, Xuxa Tacita in Bridges of the World and Giggly LaBamba in Furious Anger Management.
Achievements
Lowest Crowd: 0 people Lowest Show Rating: below average
(top spot on who's winning: 7th)
Vehicle
18 wheeler luxury rig
Discography
Released by Roadkill Records
| Date | Title | Cover | Type | Review |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2007-09-18 | LARDCORE |  | Album | 4 Stars |
| 2007-09-13 | Get Down, It's Politits! |  | Single | 4 Stars |
| 2007-08-15 | Sound My Suggestion |  | Single | 4 Stars |
| 2007-07-06 | Fuck your Taste |  | Single | 4 Stars |
| 2007-06-17 | Juanita de Coy's Cookbook |  | Album | 5 Stars |
| 2007-06-04 | Feel the Kickskreampissyfitz |  | Single | 4 Stars |
| 2007-04-06 | Whiner's Delights |  | Single | 4 Stars |
| 2007-03-08 | Death Meets Flamenco feat. GMF'27 |  | Single | 4 Stars |
| 2007-02-24 | Leftover Lard: The Oxymoron |  | Album | 5 Stars |
| 2007-02-13 | Praise the Lard! |  | Album | 5 Stars |
| 2007-02-02 | Thump the Tortilla |  | Single | 4 Stars |
| 2006-12-13 | Wild Braincells |  | Single | 4 Stars |
| 2006-11-12 | Jesusa's Lil' Schmall Something |  | Single | 4 Stars |
| 2006-10-23 | A Beautiful Story of Hate & Vile Contempt |  | Full Length Album | 4 Stars |
| 2006-10-10 | Dónde está la biblioteca, Pedro? |  | Single | 4 Stars |
| 2006-08-02 | Love Letters (S, T, F & U) |  | Single | 4 Stars |
| 2006-08-02 | ie oya you ai i |  | Single | 4 Stars |
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